How to be Assertive - Communicating Assertively

INTRODUCTION
Being assertive is not the same as being aggressive. How to be assertive is one of the most
important interpersonal skills anyone can have. It allows one to be treated as an individual and
with respect, and at the same time get things done without having to resort to coercion or be
submissive, responding like a victim. Assertiveness does not necessarily mean you must say no.
It does not mean you must always have your way. It is a positive way of interacting, actively
listening to mutual needs, stating situation in an objective manner, expressing your feelings and
requirements, helping the other party understand the consequences, so that a decision can be
reached in a manner that is beneficial to both parties. It is about stating your own needs and
wants without aggression.
Effective assertive skills reduce tension, minimise conflicts and improve productivity because
communication among team members can be more open, direct and focused on issues, without
having to rely on ploys to achieve hidden agenda.

OBJECTIVES
At the end of the seminar, participants will be able to:
• differentiate between assertiveness and aggression;
• identify the reasons behind why some people are not able to say “no”;
• use assertive skills to achieve results without sacrificing themselves;
• relate to others with confidence;
• have positive self-concept and feel good about themselves;
• develop positive interacting skills that foster team spirit.

CONTENTS
1. ASSERTIVENESS
- What is Assertiveness
- Four Types of Behaviours When People are under Pressure
- Differences between Being Assertive and Being Aggressive
- Why Some People Can’t Say “No”
- Stating from An “Adult” Position
2. GUIDELINES TO DEVELOP ASSERTIVENESS
- Active Listening
- Mastering Body Language
- Developing Appropriate Voice Quality
- Core Phrases to Use
- Showing Empathy
- Avoid “hooks” and Going Nowhere Cycle
- Having a Fallback Position
- Exercise and Role Play
3. APPLY ASSERTIVE SKILLS AND TECHNIQUES
- Develop Broken Record Technique
- Acquire Fogging Techniques
- Achieve Workable Compromise
- Apply Negative Feelings Assertion
- Use Discrepancy Assertion
- Maintain Positive Inner Dialogue
- Video and Role-play
4. A CASE STUDY
- Using Assertive Skills to Resolve Problems